31 Days {Day 12} Seasons Change

This morning I woke up to a dreary, rainy day.
 It was the usual morning of racing around to get 3 boys ready and out the door for their day.
As I was driving them to school my mind was full of thoughts and concerns.
 Prayers were on my lips to calm the anxiety that rolled around inside. 

And then, I noticed them.

In the rain and dark clouds, the bright, beautifully colored leaves on the trees stood out.  

How beautiful they were even on a dreary day!  

Maybe even because of the dreary day.

The change of season.

I really couldn't get those trees out of my mind even after I'd gotten to my destination and they were no longer in my sight.
All the change going on inside of them that no one, but the Creator sees. 

I couldn't help but to think of myself and all the things stirring inside of me, that only the Creator sees.
I feel it intensely.
And it, at least today, doesn't feel so good.

I think of the trees.
All the change on the inside of them that causes green to become yellow, red, orange, purple, brown.

  

Is it uncomfortable, I wonder?

Like I am uncomfortable...in the becoming?

I find this...

A substance called chlorophyll makes leaves green. In autumn the tree stops making chlorophyll so the green in the leaves fade. The colors, which were hidden by the green, can now be seen.  -"Family Friend" blog 

So...the substance that was used during a season to fuel their life, a new season arrives and they stop making it.

The result?

Their true colors, the ones just below the surface, can now be seen.

And how beautiful they are!  

Everyone loves too look at them.  

I think of my life and how I'm struggling today with the changing.
The things that once worked, don't.
 I'm grappling with questions.

What does God have for me in this season?
I feel the change going on inside of me, the struggle.  

I don't like the waiting, the wondering.

I think about the trees. 

Now...they stop making their source of fuel.

And the result is beauty.

So, I think about the thought patterns that have fueled me and my decision making.

The fears that have fueled procrastination and avoidance.

Maybe if I stop making them I will be like the tree?

My true colors, just below the surface will be seen?

Beauty.

It's in the change that beauty happens.

Change can be painful.
It's a shift.
Sometimes it must be a conscious one.

The one that intentionally breaks out of negative thoughts and fears.

A change, not unlike the cyclical change of the tree, in that it brings newness.
But, something must stop being produced in order to make room for the new thing to happen.

I later think, after all of that change, why does the tree have to lose it's beautiful adornment? 

 I go on to find...

During the late fall, most of the leaves of deciduous trees fall off. This is nature’s way of protecting the tree during the winter months. In the winter, trees get very little water through the roots. If the leaves remained, water would escape as water vapor through the tiny pores in the leaves. This way the tree can conserve water and stay alive.    -"Family Friend" blog 

Sometimes the change is not only beneath the surface.  

Sometimes we lose what we worked for, things that are beautiful to us and others, as God's way of protecting us. 

 Things that once worked but now, they don't. 

In a new season, if those things remained, they would be to our detriment. 

We could end up losing all because of those things. 

Those things that were once good, could end up sucking the very life out of us if they remain.

Those things that worked for a season.   

That were beautiful for a season.  

That gave even others pleasure for a season.
  

Those very things in a new season could be our end, so God leads us into a conservation mode.  

So that we can again, in the new season, produce new beauty.

As I type this, I feel better about change.
It's a process and it doesn't always feel good.
But, I take comfort in the tree's example.  

And I decide that it's going to be okay because the Creator sees and knows.

He's used to this change of season stuff.
So even though I feel uncomfortable, I'll take comfort in knowing that He knows the path and the best thing for me.

 I'll continue to trust.

The tree taught me that.

How about you?  Going through a change of season?
I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

Have you missed a day in reading 31 Days of Seeking Peace in the Midst of the Mess ?  

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