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A couple Saturdays ago as I was cleaning the kitchen after a big pancake breakfast, I had music on in the background and I was singing and praying. That's when I felt it.
That Presence.
Heard the still small voice of the Spirit.
I haven't forgotten you. I haven't forgotten about the gifts I placed within you. There's still so much more for you. Those gifts will be used...I desire to use them.
There's so much more for you, my daughter...believe...there's so much more.
Well, needless to say, I lost it. Doubled over, not able to stand in the thick presence. Weeping with the joy of someone seen and known.
I was reminded of the gifts God's placed within me. Gifts that have gone with little use over the past few years. Gifts that had a regular place and were accepted at one time in my church, have sat virtually unused, at least in a public church setting.
You see years ago I suffered tremendous hurt at the lies and accusations of sisters and brothers in Christ. Words were spoken like barbs cutting extremely deep. They hurt so bad because it was behind my back, I didn't see it coming, especially from those more "spiritual" than me, some of whom were mentors.
It was a tough time for me, and although I considered leaving the church, when it came down to it, I didn't feel like it was what I was supposed to do. Believe me I was angry, I felt betrayed, and I cried many tears over it. But, I learned to walk out forgiveness and I know deep down that that lesson was the good that God brought out of that very hard time. He healed my wounds, but also went deep in me with a life lesson.
And truly I retell this as someone who has been healed and made whole and who walks in love and forgiveness with my accusers.
The glory goes to God for that.
But still I had lost my place with my gifts. In fact, I didn't really want to exercise them because I was gun-shy, fearing the scrutiny from those who were jealous and gossiping. And so, without knowing it I became an active participant in the quenching of the gifts that God placed within me.
So, here I am 4 1/2 years later cleaning my kitchen and I feel Him calling,
Come out, come out, don't hide. I have need of you.
And my spirit leaps and purpose stirs up. Because you see when you're not using what you've been given, something that's part of your identity, a little part of you dies. And when it's been marred by gossip and slander, you doubt and hide.
But the Lord says,
Come out.
Believe.
There's so much more for you.
I share this to ask, what about you?
What are the gifts that God has given you? You have gifts. God has need of you. There are things that only you can do. And right now is the time.
He has so much more for you.
Is this your first visit to Freedom Friday?
We're embracing freedom each Friday here in 2012.
Click here for a list of the other posts in the series.
Click here for a list of the other posts in the series.
2 comments:
beautiful post! found you through casey's link up!
So glad you shared this!!!! You are an overcomer! That was a huge thing to overcome. Looking forward to seeing you in action again!!!! Your voice is soooo needed! Love you!
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