Letting God Lead

Oh wouldn't life be so easy if everyone (ahem, husband and kids) just did exactly what we wanted them to do, exactly when we wanted it done?  Bliss.  But sadly this is not the case, and really, God doesn't intend for us to be the captain's of our own ships, overriding everyone's will so ours never has to go a-wanting.   But honestly, it can be a struggle for me to have projects piled up around the house because my husband is too busy being handy at everyone else's homes that he has no time to be handy in ours.  You know that old saying about the cobbler's children having no shoes?  I hate it when people say that to me like that's going to be some comfort when I'm aggravated about my house being a sight for sore eyes even though I have a very talented contractor husband.  Do you think I'll feel a comforting camaraderie with the wife of a shoemaking husband who's children run around bare-footed when it's not barefoot season?  Not.


Anyway, this is where I was a few days ago, looking around at all the undone to-dos, boxes of cabinets filling the front porch, tree stumps filling our tiny little back yard and feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Then when driving to a friend's house for a playdate, I was pulled over and received a $63 ticket for a brake light that's been out.  A brake light that my husband promised to fix.  Well the temptation to freak out was knocking hard on my door and more than a few "I told you so's" were on the tip of my tongue.  I was not happy.  


Well, the next morning I woke up early to have some quiet time and pray and I read this in a Joyce Meyer devotional that I have...  
Our day might seem better if everyone would just do what we tell them to do. But God doesn’t override people’s will, and we are not to do so either.  Instead of trying to control people, pray that they will “hear” God leading them.  If someone persists in doing something his or her own way today, show your confidence in God by stepping aside.  You may learn that you were wrong, or they may learn that you were right.  God is big enough to get both you and them out of any mess they make.  Either way, He will get the glory, if you put your trust in Him.


God was speaking right to me.  In my temptation to be angry with my husband and feel discouraged, God reminds me that it's Him who does the work in hearts, not me.  I love my husband and I'm thankful that he works so hard to take care of his family.  Oh how the very things that bring us blessing can be the very things, when looking through willful eyes can bring us discouragement...it's all in the seeing.


And, that early morning on the couch with my devotional, God opened my eyes and I saw that He's the One in charge, not me.  If I'm frustrated, I go to Him in prayer because He is where my help comes from.  I cling to Him, do what I can do in the situation and pray for Him to do what I can't.


So this Freedom Friday {which happens to be on a Saturday...shhh} I decide to let God lead others while I trust in Him.


  Are you struggling with the temptation to live in anger and discouragement with a loved one? Place them in God's able hands and put your trust in Him.


Yes, let none who trust and wait hopefully and look for You be put to shame or be disappointed; let them be ashamed who forsake the right or deal treacherously without cause.
Psalm 25:3

Is this your first visit to Freedom Friday? 

We're embracing freedom each Friday here in 2012.
Click here for a list of the other posts in the series.

2011: Reflecting and Counting

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  As I reflect on 2011 and each of my happy, difficult and quiet moments, I'm thanking God simply for being there, for guiding, loving, correcting, giving wisdom, and never leaving.

  And I'm thanking Him for the people that He's placed in my life.

   He's made my life fuller and more beautiful because of each of them.   I can't recall this year without counting these blessings He's given:

*My husband

  We've been through thick and thin.  He knows me better than anyone...the good, the bad, and the ugly, yet he loves me.  It's nice to know that someone knows you like that yet still calls you "Love".  Still wants to hold your hand and walk together into wherever the path leads.  He sees the world through optimistic eyes even when things are rough.  He never gives up.  He takes his time and tries his best.  He's humble.  He sees the best in people and in circumstances.  He admits his faults.  He loves God.  He loves his little family.  He keeps having fun, no matter what it looks like.  I love him.  And I need him.  God knows it.

*My family of awesome boys

  I get to love them and care for them every day.  I get to hear their laughter and rambunctious fun, their prayers at night and everything in between.  They bring this home to life.  They are sweet, funny and entertaining.  They are courageous.  They love to bee-bug (snuggle).  They give me kisses all the time.  They call me beautiful.  They are patient and forgiving with this flawed mommy.  And, although it can be a challenge being mommy to 3 boys, they've taught me so much and they've made my heart swell to ridiculous proportions.  Most of all, motherhood has drawn me closer to God because there's no way I can do this without Him!  It still amazes me that they are mine.  That I was chosen to be their mommy.  What an amazing gift!

*My family of awesome girls

My 2 sisters and 6 cousins, all girls.  I love these girls!  Love being surrounded by them.  The laughter is contagious and just doesn't stop when we are together.  I grew up with these girls, share a past with them, share memories that only they know, they are a part of me and I love it!  All of them are strong.  Each one has a story.  Each one is wife, mother and amazing woman.  They make me happy.

*My Dad

So thankful to have my Dad close.  It's great to talk to him on the phone and visit with him in person.  He's thoughtful.  For my birthday he takes the time to pick out the perfect Hallmark card, the one that seems it was written with me in mind, the kind that always makes me cry.  He's there for us.  He's been a help to us.  When I have a concern or a problem he offers to pray and I know he does each night.  The boys love going to Pop-pop's, especially to his pool in the summer-time.  It's a gathering place.  Lots of good times and memory-making.  I'm glad he's here.

    

*My friends

 My friends have been such an amazing blessing to me, especially this year.  God has brought a few new friends into my life, deepened some existing friendships, and renewed treasured old friendships.  Some friends have become like sisters to me.  Who show up just because.  Who give hugs just when I need them.  Who see my heartache when others are fooled by the smile on my face.  Who through their generosity, selflessness and unconditional love, have made me feel seen and cared for.  Who through their creativity have inspired me to create and be all that God made me to be.  Who through their testimonies have taught me and given me hope.  Who through their strength and courageousness have filled me with awe.  Who through their faith have lifted me.  We've prayed prayers, laughed and cried, celebrated good times, and shared heartaches together.  I am so thankful to God for these girls.  

This year has been one of pruning and digging deep.  Although it has been painful at times, I know it's necessary for growth and I wait expectantly for the bud of beautiful blooms.


  But, it's going through this process that I've

experienced the love of God through the love and kindness of others.

 He's always there. 

He always loves.

He sees.

He knows.

 He provides.

Continuing to look to His leading in the New Year.

And praying that you experience His unconditional love through the relationships in your life this New Year as well.

31 Days {Day 20} Believe in Your Yes

Yesterday I said that we need to know our limits and learn to say "No."  It's a good word to have in our vocabulary when we need to seek some peace in the midst of a mess. 

Well that being said, we do need to commit to things...need to say "Yes."  We need to show up and be who we're meant to be in a given situation, because without us, there would be a void.  Something that should have been birthed wouldn't be because we weren't there to bring it forth. 

There are plenty of times when you've said "Yes" because you were supposed to.  It felt right and you felt called.  But later, after the initial excitement and emotion faded and the going got a little tough, you doubted...even wanted to quit...and maybe even did.

Does that mean that you missed it in the beginning and should have said "No" all along?

I don't think so.

Sometimes, maybe even many times, you'll say "Yes" and it won't be an easy road.  That "Yes" will require extra work, extra time and extra energy that feels nearly impossible to muster up.  You'll feel stretched to your breaking point and wonder how you'll even do it.  Some other things in your life may even take a back seat and things may even pile up.

Does that mean that you missed it in the beginning and should have said "No" all along?

I don't think so.

These times are times of testing and growth.  Time to see what you're made of and how you have something to bring to a situation that is uniquely yours.  It's an opportunity to seize something great and to reap rewards that you would never have known if you'd said "No" instead of "Yes."

And the very moment that you feel like just quitting it all and shutting down all communications with everyone?  This is the time to remember your "Yes."  The why you got into it at all in the first place.  

If you believe in your "Yes", then even when it gets tough and you feel weary, you stand...you stick it out because you know that your reward is coming. 

A few things you may have given up on if you didn't believe in your "Yes?"

Marriage

Motherhood

Adoption

Teaching

Ministry

Friendship

Business

They are all things that are commitments.

All things you initially get excited about.

But later...in the living it out... they can be tough, make you doubt, and even want to quit. 

So, does that mean that you missed it in the beginning and should have said "No" all along?

I don't think so.

Just remember your "Yes" and the reason you said it in the first place.  

Believing in the power of that "Yes" can carry you through. 


"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God...
For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son...
Romans 8:28-29 NASB  

The reward is in the becoming.


Is there a "Yes" in your life that has stretched you?

Have you missed a day in reading 31 Days of Seeking Peace in the Midst of the Mess ?  

click here

If you aren't following Loving This Life yet, I’d love to invite you to do so. Simply click here or go to the side bar and click on join this site.  There are also options on the side bar to subscribe to receive posts in a reader or to sign up for email to have each post delivered to you right into your inbox.  

There are over 700 bloggers taking the challenge, along with me, to write about one topic for 31 days.

You can check them out here.

31 Days {Day 15} Live with Purpose

Purpose 1. The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal. 2. A result or effect that is intended or desired; an intention. The Free Dictionary by Farlex

What I love about that definition are the questions that arise in me as I read it.

For what do I exist?

and

Am I achieving the intended result?

So much of life, if you don't pay attention, can be lived out in survival mode.  

What do I have to do today to get from A to Z?  

Believe me, I know.

That's how I've lived for far too long.

I think that sort of happens without even a conscious thought.

Especially for us multi-tasking mamas.

Well, I desire to break out of that way of life...care to join me?

First, we'll need a goal, an intention.

How do you wish to live?

What do you want your life to say?

These are the questions that prompted my husband and I to think about our purpose as a family, which then led us to draw up our own family purpose statement.  

I told you about that here yesterday.

This can be done no matter the season of life you find yourself in, whether single, married with out children, or, like we are, married with 3 young boys.  The point is to take the time to consider who you are and how you'd like to live your life.  It's getting down on paper what you're all about and what's important to you. 

Now, when thinking about your family's purpose, remember a couple of things as you begin...

There are no wrong answers.  This is going to be different for everyone, as it should be.  It does help to see others' statements to get an idea of what this looks like, but ultimately this is yours.

 Own it.

and...

Keep it simple.

It's best not to be too narrow in what you create.  This is not a to-do list or a place to outline goals, although you'll use it to help you with those things later. This should be something that works for you and your kids today and ten years from now.

Let me give you our family's purpose statement as an example and maybe it'll get your wheels turning on your own...

As a family, we want to pursue God and glorify Him in all we say, do, and are.  We will: 

Put others first, be respectful, and speak with kind words.

Create a welcoming home that is full of love, peace, beauty, and order.

Care for our bodies by eating healthy foods and exercising regularly.

Enjoy and protect the environment that God created.

Laugh.

Be good stewards of our finances.

Embrace and nurture the gifts and talents in each of us.

Spend quality time together and cherish every moment.

Contribute to our community by sharing our time, talents, and other resources.

Be lifelong learners.

Extend LOVE to those around us!

Some questions to consider in making your own statement could be...

1.  What are 3 words that come to mind when I think of how I want my home to feel and function?

2.  What moves me?

3.  What are the gifts and talents of each family member?

4.  What areas in our lives do we need/desire to improve upon?

5.  What would others say about our family?

6.  What would we like them to say 10 years from now?

7.  What do we want our  family to value?

And so on...

I recommend 2 books that taught me about the importance of Family Purpose Statements and helped my family to put one together.  They are The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey and Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider.

On Monday I'll talk about how to use your Family Purpose Statement as a helpful tool 

in

Seeking Peace in the Midst of the Mess.

It works!  

Want to read the last bit about the Family Purpose Statement?
Click here for {Day 17} Directions, Please.

Have you missed a day in reading 31 Days of Seeking Peace in the Midst of the Mess ?  

click here

If you aren't following  Loving This Life yet, I’d love to invite you to do so. Simply click here or go to the side bar and click on join this site.  There are also options on the side bar to subscribe to receive posts in a reader or to sign up for email to have each post delivered to you right into your inbox.  

There are over 700 bloggers taking the challenge, along with me, to write about one topic for 31 days.

You can check them out here.

31 Days {Day 14} What Do You Stand For?

A couple months ago my husband and I sat down to discuss what is important to us as a family.  That may sound silly to some of you...like, Um, hello, don't you already know?  Well, we've been going through a lot of changes and challenges over the past couple of years.   And, we've found that when you're in a tight spot, priorities often change and refine.  So, we've been asking a lot of questions of God lately and needed some direction.
To steady us we started talking about what's important to us.

That resulted in creating our Family Purpose Statement.

I know, right away comes to mind the satirized "mission statement" in Jerry Maguire's cut-throat sports management world.
Well, that's not it.

So, just what is a Family Purpose Statement?

I'm talking about something that says what's important to you as a family.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, Stephen R. Covey says,

A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about and the principles you choose to govern your family life.

For us, it's intentionally thinking about what we want our lives together to speak about us as a family.  In a busy society which puts so much pressure on adults and children to keep up with demands on our time and attention, the most important things can just slip right by us (or grow right up) with out our noticing, if we're not intentional.

The family purpose statement helps to distinguish between the really important things and the things that won't matter in the long run.  It helps to make the switch from putting-out-fires-living, to embracing what, and who, you love in life.

Interested in learning more or perhaps in creating your own?
Tomorrow I'll take it a step further and share our purpose statement, the questions we asked ourselves to determine it, and how we use it today to govern our family life.

Has anyone out there done this?
I'd love to hear something that's important to you and your family.

Want to read the rest about the Family Purpose Statement?
Click here for {Day 15} Live With Purpose and here for {Day 17} Directions, Please

Have you missed a day in reading 31 Days of Seeking Peace in the Midst of the Mess ?  

click here

If you aren't following  Loving This Life yet, I’d love to invite you to do so. Simply click here or go to the side bar and click on join this site.  There are also options on the side bar to subscribe to receive posts in a reader or to sign up for email to have each post delivered to you right into your inbox.  


There are over 700 bloggers taking the challenge, along with me, to write about one topic for 31 days.
You can check them out here. 

14 Years!

Today is our wedding anniversary and I can't help but think of God's grace.  I'm so very thankful for the family we've created with this marriage; for the best friend I have by my side.  It hasn't always been this way...for many years our marriage was hanging by a very worn thread which had nearly broken.  But after several years of pain and failure we invited God in, and as He healed our hearts His grace securely wrapped around that very worn marriage-thread and He created a life-line, not easily broken.  Committed to each other and this family, we have held on in faith to the life-line, to God, and have found a deep satisfaction and excitement in creating this life and family together...found a deep love for each other.  Things are not perfect; they aren't promised to be, but what is promised, is the peace that comes in following the Lord.  And as we continue to look to Him in our lives and our marriage, we are learning how to see each other through His eyes.  Eyes of love and understanding.  Eyes of peace and grace.  Eyes of promise and purpose.  Eyes of faith and forgiveness.  We know that it had to have taken a miracle, His provision, to get us from where we were to where we are now.  So today I celebrate the goodness that this wedding anniversary represents and the love that has been cultivated and cherished, the family that has been created and nurtured.  But most of all I celebrate the goodness of the Lord and all that He's done in our lives, the healing that He's brought to this union.

A scripture, found in Luke's gospel, comes to mind and I echo it wholeheartedly....nothing is impossible with God!